On Style

"it is virtually impossible for a man to dress well if he does not select his own clothing. With few exceptions, sophisticated dressers - be they men or women - rarely trust their wardrobe choices to a second party, no matter how respected or beloved that person might be. The man who aspires to cultivate a feel for stylish neckwear must be willing to immerse himself in the trial-and error process of its screening selection. A man can learn as much from a failed purchase - the tie that looked so smart in the shop but now rarely escapes his closet - as he can from one he cannot stop wearing. Confidence comes from being able to make the right decision, not having it made for you." - Alan Flusser, Style & the Man

As I was reading this book, I found this quote to be something that goes beyond dressing yourself. Interesting, interesting... I suppose it takes, at the very least, a little bit of faith to gain confidence.

Being Content

The other week, I was sitting at a booth in a pizza parlor with a friend. As my friend was getting food, I ended up talking to another man sitting in the booth right next to me. He sat there, reading his Bible with one of those neon yellow shirts that people doing construction wear. He started talking to me about his job and what he did. It was truly fascinating. This man worked for a power company. For a living, he turned off the electricity in the homes of people who failed to pay their bills. He told me about how people would send letters to him out of anger and hatred. All in all, it seemed like his job would be exactly opposite of what most people would want to do. To have to deliver bad news to people was his job.

I can't imagine doing that job - just the nature of the job would make it difficult for me to do. This man was someone that I had met for just a few minutes and had huge amounts of respect for him. I wouldn't be able to do what he's done. Perhaps, dealing with people and pissing them off was what he wanted to do, but I really doubt it. Perhaps, he had this job out of necessity, since he couldn't find work elsewhere. It was amazing how he could tell me about his job and smile about it - not in a smug way, but in a very genuine way. I could tell he was content with what he had.

Youth

As a student, I know that I feel the pressure to find a good internship/job and not mess around as I have in just about every summer before this. Having committed to a job in the fall, I’m at school trying to make up for the time that will be lost in the fall. I’m filling my time with classes and work. At the same time, however, I feel like freedom has been lost. I’ve come to realize that there is no longer a period of time where I can just hang out and lay around without a purpose. Summer is gone.

What I’ve longed for has finally come, but it comes with a price. I used to think that adults had the most amazing lives. As a kid I looked up to them and adored that they could go wherever they wanted to on a whim and simply go. There was no age limit or anything holding them back, but now that I’ve become a quasi-adult I now realize that there are responsibilities that come along with this age.

The age that I used to loathe because of its lack of freedom has suddenly become so attractive, but it’s gone. I suppose the moral of my story is that we should appreciate what we have while we have it. This youth isn’t something that we should attempt to hurry away, rather we should accept it as a part of who we are. We all have time to grow old. Let’s live for the now, with our eyes on the future.

Sports

As humans, I think we all realize how temporary we are whether we consciously think about it or not. It looms over us. In the grand scheme of things, we are nothing - just a few decades in the world. Lately, I've been getting into watching sports, supporting people that I've never met, probably will never meet, have only seen through the lens of the this black box I call my TV. I mean really, the winning or losing of a team has absolutely nothing to do with my well-being, nothing to do with the way I live my life from day to day, nothing to do with what I will eat for dinner tomorrow. I'm not going to eat green eggs and ham tomorrow just because the Celtics happen to win. Nor am I going to eat beets because the Lakers are winning. These things will really not affect our lives. I suppose it could a little by promoting the economy in your area, but if you look at the bigger picture of your life, I am doubtful that it will change anything big.

That being said, I think we watch sports and support things that really have no bearing on our lives because we want to become a part of something larger than ourselves, larger than we will ever become on our own. 10 years from now, people will still be talking about which team they supported for the 2010 World Cup and we will be there and say "I saw that happen! Wasn't that ridiculous when Green let in that stupid goal?" Cheering for the U.S. team involves us in something bigger, nationalism, saying "Here we are, alongside all of our people. I was there, I was a part of this (...however indirect that may be)." This is something that we all long to be a part of... something great, epic as some may say, monumental. Nevertheless, we are temporary and will fade. Thus, we grasp at the things we can to say we're more than just a speck of history and to attempt to attain this certain immortality you could say.

Perhaps this quote is a little off-topic, but I think it pertains. I love it.

"I have been told that it is common for people to mark exactly where they are when they learn of death on a grand scale. I have met Americans, for example, who can tell me in detail which suit they were putting on or what highway they were driving down at the time of the suicide jet attacks on the World Trade Centre.Perhaps it is a way to link our own small presence to the great bloodstained currents of history for just a moment. I suppose this is also a way of feeling a part of an overwhelming fatal event, a slight flirtation with the finality that awaits us all – a rehearsal for our own deaths, you might say" - Paul Rusesabagina

A Realization

The school year has just ended and my college career is about 50 percent done. I've learned life lessons outside of the classroom and learned lessons within them to carry with them.

A big lesson that I've learned and dealt with this past year is that in general we're all naturally self-centered people. Most of what we do is serve ourselves, if you really look at the motives behind much of what we do. When our friends say something great that happened to them recently, we try to top their story with one of our own to show . Or, when we fail to focus on our friends when we should. Often times, we don't give the people around us the attention that they deserve. It's difficult to put everything down when you have so much on the plate in front of you to look at the plate of someone else's. It's especially difficult for me, since when I become focused on something, it's very hard to pull me away from that.

I suppose part of this realization is me maturing and trying to understand others. I know that this is a life-long quest to truly be respectful of others by giving them the attention deserve, so why not start now and hopefully become real good when I'm at a ripe old age?

So I suppose I'll make my little how-to guide to follow:
1) Stop.
2) Listen.
3) Understand.
4) Speak.

Music and Passion

Photo by John Vettese

Just this past week, I got the chance to see Jonsi, the singer of Sigur Ros, perform his solo album. It was simply amazing. They performed their music and had an amazing visual show to go along with it. Despite the fact that this tour was to promote his solo album, this concert was not about themselves, but about the music they were playing. Throughout the concert, numerous people cried and laughed. It's just an amazing thing what music can do to people.

I have never seen musicians so passionate about music before. Each of them looked like they were having so much fun playing music. At one point during the concert, I saw the bassist look at the drummer, smile, and then look back at his instrument and smile again. At times, my mouth would just be hanging wide open and I wouldn't realize till a few minutes or maybe ten minutes later when it was dry. Something on stage would happen and you'd feel a surge of joy rise in your heart, or pangs of sadness. This is what music should be; something that performers and concert-goers can enjoy together. It should not be just something created for economic reasons, rather something created that can be enjoyed by everyone. It was something so surreal, so many people in the same room experiencing the same emotions conveyed.


At the end of the concert, the band applauded the audience for coming along on this musical journey. I must say this was a trip for everyone that was there. It was amazing. I hope other concerts are like this. As I stood in the concert, I realized if I were to make music or do anything, I'd want it to be something that everyone can take in and enjoy.

Photo by Alan Michael Goldberg

Morals and Pride

It's interesting that as we grow up, we grow up with morals and standards etched on our souls. What our parents teach us, what we learned in school as children; these are the things that influence the way we think and shape us into who we are years later. Whether or not your childhood was good, the things that went on in your life have influenced you to this day - whether it's for the positive or negative. Thus, we grow up thinking that this is right, this is what we should do and how other people do. Then, we reach a stage where we're released out into the world and given freedom to do as we please. This is when people decide what happens with the value system that has been etched on our minds. Some people disregard their morals and upbringing, while others hold onto them knowing that if they let go, they will be lost. Then, there are those in the middle ground, the people who pick and choose what they want.

I find myself to be someone who holds these morals and ideals near to my heart. Perhaps, it is a good thing. However, it can occasionally deter you from understanding people. It is not the fact that we uphold these morals that distances us from people, but more so the self-righteous pride that comes along with it. When people with different morals come along, we look down on them and see them as inferior people. Thus, we become distanced.

This does not always happen. There are people with different morals than me that I respect and am able to have good relationships with. I hope that I am able to do the same with everyone else in the world. I hope that I will learn not to shove my ideology down the throats of the people around me and respect them. At the same time, I hope to be able to learn from theirs and still maintain the roots of my very own moral skeleton.